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I'm Bisexual.
Okay now that that's over with, I'll just let out my current feelings.
Sorry I haven't written a journal in a while. Not that anyone really reads it anyway. I'm kinda depressed right now and midterms aren't helping.
It's just... I let myself get hurt again. There was a brief moment of time when I thought that the impossible might be possible, and then it turned out my hopes were founded on nothing.
This happens so often to me, it's not even funny. I let myself hope that just once, someone could look at me and see me as their whole world. That I could be loved romantically. And then the truth shoves itself in my face and I curl up on myself again and I don't let out my emotions for a while. And the worst part is that it will just happen all over again. The only question is when.
Most people consider the ability to love to be a wonderful quality, and sometimes it is wonderful, but sometimes it hurts so bad. I can accept friendship, it's just that she'll never know how I felt about her and I now know that she probably never even considered it. Or if she did, she dismissed it.
Just once, I want to know what it feels like to have someone hold me close in a non-platonic way and to lay my head on a chest and listen to a heartbeat. I want to feel like I'm important to someone in a way that no one else is.
I guess my problem is that I'm in love with the idea of being in love.
Why do I keep falling for people I can't have? They're either not interested, already involved with someone else, or from a completely different world.
Oh well, I guess it's time to raid the pantry for chocolate. I think there might be some chocolate chips in there...
  • Mood: Hopeless

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Submitted on
January 15
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:iconthealwaysangel:
~TheAlwaysAngel Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry that I haven't been reading your journals. In all honestly, I coompletely forgot that life outside of tumblr existed...
Reply
:iconreadswaytoomuch:
~Readswaytoomuch Jan 17, 2013  Student General Artist
It's okay. I fully understand. I'm addicted too.
Reply
:icondestruction-bunny:
~DESTRUCTION-BUNNY Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Impatient, huh?
I can now tell you, as if I'm the older buddy, from my own experience, that everything takes time. I won't continue on that, it's a pain in the ass to even read what I just wrote.
Reply
:iconreadswaytoomuch:
~Readswaytoomuch Jan 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Well it turns out the thing with this girl isn't as hopeless as I thought. I might still have a chance.
Reply
:icondestruction-bunny:
~DESTRUCTION-BUNNY Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
See? Patentience~
Gah, enough of that, I wish you the best of luck :huggle:
Reply
:iconreadswaytoomuch:
~Readswaytoomuch Jan 16, 2013  Student General Artist
thanks
Reply
:iconmusicalninjaofdoom:
~MusicalNinjaOfDoom Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I read all of your journals.. Even if we don't talk.
But I'm still sorry to hear that.
Don't worry sweetie, love can be a total pain in the ass,
But it comes to everyone eventually <3
You just need to find that one person.
Reply
:iconreadswaytoomuch:
~Readswaytoomuch Jan 15, 2013  Student General Artist
Yeah, I'm just impatient though
Reply
:iconmaplebeer-shipper:
~MapleBeer-Shipper Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
;A;
I might not be an expert on the whole relationship thing being asexual but I'm sorry about your issue
Reply
:iconreadswaytoomuch:
~Readswaytoomuch Jan 15, 2013  Student General Artist
Yeah, it's just that it turns out the person I liked had thought that she was bisexual too, but only today told me that she now thinks she might be asexual.
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